What does it mean to be embodied?

Can you spot Jupiter?

Today I wanted to share some thoughts on embodiment. Along with somatics this concept is being shared a lot. It’s also something I have been exploring in depth for a couple of years now. Over 1000hrs of training in therapy & movement alongside my own daily practice has taught me one thing…

Embodiment or being embodied isn’t a place we visit, it’s not a destination, it’s a relentless and fluid state of being that I would argue is always present. We have just become very very good at dissociating ourselves from our embodied experience.

And there is a big misconception that embodiment or being embodied is this calm, soft state of being and it absolutely can be. It’s important though to recognise if that’s your only state of being or if you are aiming for that to be your entire experience of life then actually you are bypassing.

Because the truth is, it can be deeply painful. Especially in our current cultures & systems of living. Most of our bodies are pushed far beyond our limits and one way or another our bodies are finding a way to protest and we do everything we can to avoid feeling this (which is ok and normal, this is a lot)

I am embodied when I fully allow the experience of my chronic pain.
I am embodied when I get in the sea and let the discomfort of the cold force the scream from my throat.
I am embodied when I listen to the niggle of resistance just below my diaphragm that is saying a very clear no.
I am embodied when I let the music someone else created from their embodiment move me.
I am embodied when I sit with with my breath and honour the endless cycle of life that connect me to the plants, the waters, the earth and the sun.
I am embodied when I fully taste the food a friend has made me.
I am embodied when my grief reminds me of how huge love is and I let the pain of that widen my heart.

Embodiment is aliveness, connection & love.

It’s pain & joy.

It’s not about feeling good, being calm or regulated.

Embodiment is not about control.

It’s not neutral.

And it’s also NOT about the individual. Letting go into my embodiment of me in this life, has only led me to fully feel into our interconnectedness.

Susan Aposhyan describes this far better than me…

‘‘Embodiment requires the creative ability to allow the life of the universe to move through our bodies, be coloured by our unique perspectives and move back out into the world. Embodiment also implies an unencumbered flow of life through us. Life comes into us as food, air, liquid, sights, sounds and more organised experiences.

The world comes in, we process it and through the processing we find ourselves in a whole new relationship to the world. Embodiment then, is a grounding and flowing relationship between ourselves and the rest of the world.’’

Having an embodied experience quite often opens the doors to our grief for both the personal and the collective. And this is BIG animal work so please don’t feel bad if that feels like too much, because for many of us, it is!

However, maybe the enquiry is… how can I be in that discomfort? How can I lean into it, not oppress it?

When it comes to trauma, embodiment is allowing ourselves to fully FEEL and experience what happened to us. Allowing it to transform us while also reclaiming the parts of us that became fragmented.

As I said… this can feel like a lot. And when we start to explore these things whether thats with a therapist, through movement or simply making space to sit quietly, you need to know that pendulation is your best friend. We let ourselves move in and out of these experiences. We might for example feel into grief over a loss or the collective, allow ourselves to be there and if we feel overwhelmed we can use a tool like orientation (for example: naming objects in a room) or a resource thats grounding to come out of the grief. This way, the more we practice, the more we increase our capacity for letting life move through.

This is one of the many things we explore in somatic therapy.

You might be wondering why bother? Perhaps being disembodied is working for you, I get it. I have moments where I wish I was still the person who could stay at my desk for hours without eating, drinking or peeing. Or the person who could stay out late drinking, or the person who didn’t care about anything else other than my career or dating (always problematic men) and thought busy was a badge of honour.

Yes sometimes I miss that version of my life. It had less obvious friction but it also had more tension, self abandonment, self harm, a lack of connection and I burnt out, which is always the outcome, even more so if neurodivergence is at play. We can’t run away from our humanness forever, the act of grasping at some sort of homeostasis is exhausting in itself, life has to move through.

Being embodied doesn’t mean less suffering or pain, in fact this probably increases for most people for a while. Most of us have a big backlog of feelings that need tending to. But it also brings more joy, more vitality, more connection, more creativity and more authenticity. I would also say that the more embodied we can become, the more capable of imagining alternative futures we become. We not only increase our capacity for life but also for care that extends far beyond ourselves.

Before I close I will share this quote from Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen…

‘‘Embodiment is the awareness of the cells of themselves. It is a direct experience. There are no intermediary steps or translations. There is no guide. There is no witness. There is the fully known consciousness of the experienced moment initiated from the cells themselves. In this instance, the brain is the last to know. There is complete knowing. There is peaceful comprehension. Out of this embodiment process emerges feeling, thinking, witnessing, understanding. The source of this process is love.’’

Thank you for being here with your curious, open heart.
Ami x