The sense of dread that lives above your belly button - The Solar Plexus & Trauma.
Ever since I can remember, for years I lived with this tightening in the space that lives in the centre of my body. Just below my diaphragm, about four fingers up from my navel is where a persistent sense of dread existed and still occasionally makes itself known. Utter terror would arise from out of nowhere, any sort of conflict would bring it to life and this dread would demand I fawn, people please or runaway, sometimes for no reason at all. It could persist for days at a time, creating horrible rumination and anxiety. The tightness would spread to my jaw, brow and pelvis, ultimately causing a lot of physical pain.
When I first started training as a somatic therapist, I was introduced to a book called What My Bones Know, a memoir by Stephanie Foo. This was her story around living with and healing from CPTSD and when I read the part about the dread that lives just below her diaphragm I felt like I had been seen. It’s not just me. For several years now I have been tending to this part of me, this echo of the childhood that created it. This constant sense of not feeling safe, always having to shrink and waiting for something terrible to happen to me dominated my life and what it needed was compassion & curiosity.
When I connected with it through Parts Therapy I received a visual of a heavy tar like substance that had the child version of me frozen and stuck. I was met with deep distrust and fear with initial contact and it took regular connection, care and curiosity through further therapy & movement, along with moment to moment practice for this part of me to start to be integrated.
Reclaimed and transformed, it’s now a part of my intuition and internal resistance that I regard as embodied wisdom. It’s no longer trying to keep me small and if it does become activated I know to pause, listen, show care and invite softening rather than react.
This also where my grief will often rise from and as I softened my Solar Plexus area there was the necessary pouring of the sorrow that had been trapped here.
Do you also live with a heavy sense of dread/fear in your Solar Plexus? I have lost count of the amount of times I have had a therapy client share the same story as mine. So today on my blog I am going to share some insights around the anatomy of this part of us and some practices to help with soothing and creating a little more ease while working with this area.
THE SOLAR PLEXUS OR THE CELIAC PLEXUS
We know the term Solar Plexus most commonly as a chakra, this is often described as an energetic centre of personal power and self esteem. This can be true but I want to focus on the actual anatomy of this part of our bodies and the correct name is Celiac Plexus. You will find this located in the upper part of our abdomen, behind our stomach and the omental bursa but in front of the crura of the diaphragm.
If you let your fingers follow your sternum all the way down to just below your diaphragm you should locate this sensitive central part of you. Perhaps there is tension there atm. Maybe you can let your hand gently rest there while you read the rest of this article.
In a way the Celiac Plexus does look the sun. A central ganglia of complex nerve cells radiate out through our bodies. This is a part of our autonomic nervous system which controls all of our involuntary bodily functions like digestion, heart rate and how we respond to stress. Can you see how this part of you is so deeply sensitive? If we remind ourselves that complex trauma comes from our bodies constantly having to respond to threat by being in a sympathetic (fight or flight) response or perhaps a freeze then it’s no wonder that this radiating cluster of nerves is the epicentre of our fear.
How does it feel to understand this part of you a little more?
Our Celiac Plexus when working in a balanced way has many important functions. Things like supporting and regulating our digestive system, nerve signal relay, regulating our blood pressure, it’s a pathway for abdominal pain signals and stress response. It’s like a central switchboard for all of these functions so I am sure you can imagine how trauma can influence the rest of our body from this place.
I hope this has been supportive and validating for you and below I am going to share some practices to support this part of your body.
Practices to support your solar plexus
So let’s be clear about something first. Healing, softening and helping our nervous system find a new relaxed baseline takes time and practice. None of the things below are going to ‘fix’ your dread. The foundation of this is curiosity and deep compassion. Further shaming will not invite healing. And it’s also ok if this brings up grief, anger or other uncomfortable feelings. Perhaps see if you can let them be there for a moment and if you need to stop, then stop. I would also advise not exploring this entirely alone, having relational support is important and that might be through a therapist or someone you trust and feel safe with.
Is your hand still there? This is one of the most gentle ways to start exploring this part of you. Place your hand on the area of your Solar Plexus, you can also gently massage here. And as you inhale, you might imagine sending your breath there. The inhale can be the acknowledgement, the I see you. And then as you exhale, can you invite some softening. Be patient, this takes practice and time. This is my go to practice when I need to gently tend in the moment.
For a little bit more movement I really love spinal waves or cat cow in yoga asana. Starting on all fours, you might connect with the Solar Plexus first through your breath and then gently start to roll your spine, like the cat cow movement but more fluid. This can stay small or it can get bigger, perhaps extending arms and legs, eventually you might find yourself on your feet and I always invite a little shake here and a couple of deeper breaths.
If you are a visual person, you might feel into what shape this part of you takes. Is there colours, textures or images? Just spend sometime noticing and if you are feeling creative you might paint, draw or collage whats alive here. You can also journal and make notes around what wants to be known when you connect with your Solar Plexus.
I hope you have found these helpful. Remember go slow & gently, you are not something broken that needs fixing.
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